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The Original All Roller Talk Discussion Board Archive >
Joke for the day!
Joke for the day!
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Electric-man
104 posts
Jan 02, 2007
8:16 AM
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A well dressed man, ina three piece suit, walked in to a bar in Arkansas. He went in and sat down at a table and ordered a drink.Well, the other regulars where getting pretty nervouse not nowing who he was, so they asked the bartender to see if he could find out. So the bartender goes over and starts makeing small talk. Pretty soon he gets around and asks the man, well, you sure are dressed nice, what do you do, work for the government or something? The man smiled and said ,no I'm a taxadermist! The bartender asked, what is that? The man said, Well, I mount animals.The bartender sighed,then he looked up at the regulars and said ,relax guys, he's one of us!
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rollzilla
31 posts
Jan 02, 2007
8:28 AM
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A man is walking down the beach one day and finds a lamp in the sand, he picks it up and dusts it off and 2 blonde gienies appear and grant him 3 wishes, next he finds him self in a beutiful mansion with lots of beutiful women, so he has fun with the women and decides to explore his new mansion and then notices he's walking on somthing real soft and looks down and the floor is coverd in 100 doller bills, then theres a knock on the door, when he answers it it 2 ku klux klan members and they pull him out of the house put a rope around his neck and hang him in a tree and as there walking away they pull off there hoods and its the 2 blonde geinies and one says to the other ya know i can understand the money and women but why do you think he wanted to be hung like a black man
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Missouri-Flyer
84 posts
Jan 02, 2007
10:18 AM
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LMAO!
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Eat, sleep, Cowboys, Pigeons... The facts of life
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ROLLERMAN
77 posts
Jan 02, 2007
10:35 AM
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This young guy walks in to a bar and tell all his friends that his wife just got a tatoo of a sea shell put on her iner thigh. And said that if you put your ear realy close to it you can smell the ocean
al
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smokey
103 posts
Jan 02, 2007
10:41 AM
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i hope the next 3mill are better than this. ????
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Electric-man
106 posts
Jan 02, 2007
11:19 AM
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Sorry Smokey, You must be from Arkansas! LOL
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jammerlofts
77 posts
Jan 02, 2007
11:39 AM
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birmingham rollers are not the only thing getting mixed lol
jc
jammerlofts
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jammerlofts
78 posts
Jan 02, 2007
11:41 AM
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this here folks is a real deal red necks idea of a high rise lmao wooohhoooo
jc
jammerlofts
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Electric-man
107 posts
Jan 02, 2007
1:22 PM
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Good ones Joe, The trailor house doesn't suprise me that much cause I live in Oklahoma. Lot of tightly bred families around here, if you know what I mean, but that dog scares the hell out of me! LOL That looks so real! Glad you can enjoy the lighter side of life!
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jammerlofts
79 posts
Jan 02, 2007
1:27 PM
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val
lmao as you know i live in maine and many things are inbread here thats a photo of the guy next doors younger brother lol lmao it would not surprize me tho at all if it were lol
jc
jammerlofts
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jammerlofts
80 posts
Jan 02, 2007
5:09 PM
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hey val
here is the other neighbor down the road lol
jc
jammerlofts
Last Edited by on Jan 02, 2007 5:10 PM
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jammerlofts
82 posts
Jan 02, 2007
6:28 PM
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A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse fall's into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety.
The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper.
He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.
The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story:
If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.
jc
jammerlofts
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jammerlofts
83 posts
Jan 02, 2007
6:32 PM
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A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
jc
jammerlofts
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jammerlofts
84 posts
Jan 02, 2007
6:39 PM
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man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.
After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again.
The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out! The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair.
By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left... then to the right... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says... "He should have quit while he was a head!"
jc
jammerlofts
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AIREDALE
50 posts
Jan 03, 2007
9:04 AM
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A indian chief and his son were sitting in front of their TeePee one night.The son asked his father how he had chosen the names for himself and his brother and sister.
The chief replied "I sat in front the lodge,like we are doing now.The first thing I saw after hearing the child's birth cry became their name.For example when your sister was born,I saw a Trout jump in the stream.I named her "Jumping Trout".When your brother was born I saw a Bear running through the woods.I named him "Running Bear".Why do you ask "Two Dogs F_ _ king?"
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Heyyou
84 posts
Jan 04, 2007
10:15 AM
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a guy goes down to the closest pet store and asks if the guy has a parrot that talks, it's his wife's birthday and she's alwasy wanted one. The owner says he just sold the last bird that talked but try the downtown store. The guy goes down there and the same thing, the owner just sold the last talking bird and now he doesn't know what he's going to do and starts walking out, when he hears, "hey buddy by me, I'll make you a good pet". He looks down and sees a small parakeet swinging on the swing in this small cage and asks the owner, Hey this bird talks, how much you want for it? the owner says the bird is a homewrecker, foul mouthed and has no legs. Well he's swinging on the swing? He wraps his little dink around it to keep his balance but if you want it, $20 and no refunds, I never want to see that bird again. The guy takes it home and his wife just loves it, it talks all the time and they become very close. Then one day, the guy heads out the door a little late for work and the bird says, Hey buddy, do you know your wifes unfaithful? Bull, the guy says, how do you know? Well, for the last two weeks you been goin out the door to work and the milkman has been coming in the back door. Your wife runs down the hall taken off her clothes and the milkman follows taken off his clothes.The guy says, "Then what happens?" The birds says, don't know, I get a hard on and fall off my perch".
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viper
25 posts
Jan 04, 2007
6:21 PM
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these are some good ones LMAO
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jammerlofts
100 posts
Jan 04, 2007
9:07 PM
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A young couple were invited to a swanky masked Halloween party. The wife came down with a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party and have a good time. Being the devoted husband, he protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed. She told him there was no need for him to miss the fun. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early she decided to go to the party.
Because hubby did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some kicks watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not around. She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor. He was dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a feel here and taking a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new action. She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband.
Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped out, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of excuse he would have for his notorious behaviour. She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked him what he had done.
He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got to the party I met Pete, Bill and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you...the guy that I loaned my costume to sure had one hell of a time!"
jc
jammerlofts
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